Dogs and Bunnies

Well, I didn't get around to posting anything this weekend because we spent the better part of it searching for our dog, Lilly. This is nothing new. She defies the laws of physics when it comes to escape. I don't have the energy or desire to go into detail, but she managed an escape again this morning during what can only be referred to as the "crazy, uncontrolled, rip-your-hair-out-trying to get three-year-old out the door for school and baby down for morning nap" hour at our house.
So, Anna is on my bed (which is yet to be made up) getting a dirty diaper changed. She was a little constipated (bear with me, it will be relevant later) and trying to change her these days is much like trying to stuff a jack rabbit into a paper bag. Meanwhile, Charlie is screaming from his room for "Daddy" because I put him in time out for screaming. Irony is a funny thing.
Will has shut himself into the bathroom with his iPod blaring. Smart man. So the phone starts ringing and I figure the answering machine will have to do for now, I just can't handle one more task. Then, 5 seconds later, the doorbell. Not a good sign. I know right away that Lilly has done it again.
It is about now that I am down to the wiping portion of my diaper changing task when I realize I am out of wipes. Of course. So I run across the hall while Anna is still on my bed, release Charlie from his prison, grab a pack of wipes, and signal to my neighbor that I understand why she is there. Naturally, Charlie follows me into the room telling me why he doesn't love me anymore and that he is isn't going to play with me any. more. because I sent him to time out. I get Anna's diaper finished, wrap her in a blanket, throw a pair of pants on myself (an afterthought) and head out to find the dog.
I am still too bitter to go into detail about this part of the morning, but I found her. She followed my van home as I leaned out of the car window bribing her with treats, which I didn't give her. (Sorry dog lovers, but if you spent as much of your precious time searching for this dog, you wouldn't either. I love her, but it is maddening.) So she repays me by jumping into the driver's seat as soon as I got out and wedging herself under the dashboard. After about 5 minutes of negotiating a turn-around, she managed to free herself. But she wallered around on the seat just enough to make my entire van reak of dead, rotting fish. Wonderful.
Finally, I make it inside, put the dog in the garage, prepare Anna a warm bottle, and crawl into my bed to cuddle up with her before I put her down for a nap. As I am holding her in my arms and crawl onto my bed, I notice several small dark balls roll toward me where the mattress was giving under my weight. "That's funny," I thought. "I don't recall eating chocolate covered peanuts in bed?" Then I remembered the chaos that ensued during Anna's morning diaper change.
You guessed it, bunnies. IN my bed.
Motherhood is such a dignified job.